honest words · life · motherhood

Dear Stay at Home Mama

Dear Stay at Home Mama,

I see you.

Exhausted, cleaning up piles of dirty dishes and sweeping the same floors for the 32nd time today in your stained up oversized tee-shirt, messy top knot hair…for the 4th day in a row. You wonder if anyone even notices. Not just the uncountable hours of unseen work you put in, but notices YOU.

You watch the rest of the outside world move on while you stay home and raise your littles and a part of you feels like you should be doing so much more with your life, like you should want more for your life.

And while the rest of the world progresses at lightning speed – accomplishing, earning, becoming; there you are, half disheveled watching The Today Show, nursing a little one while another kid…or three, turn that room you JUST cleaned into a World War III battle scene and you wonder, “Am I missing out on more?”

I get you. I am you. 

Even so, the little voices that drive you crazy most days are the same voices who manage to shout louder than the call to make a name for yourself, to become somebody by culture’s standards. Those tiny dirty toes lined up keep your heart tethered to the well-worn, crumb filled floor beneath your kitchen table.

Maybe you will do great things and become somebody in the world’s eyes. Maybe you will become a person of primary influence in your family’s eyes. Maybe you will do both – or only achieve the latter.

And if in the very end you look back over your life to realize you became someone great in your children’s eyes because of the 18 or so years of exhausting Mondays and ordinary Wednesdays, will that be enough for you?

Was your life’s work enough?

Either way, I need you to believe something with everything in you – with your whole heart. I need you to know that it is OK to just be mom. To know that who you are IS enough. And that if you never do anything greater with your life than to mother well, your life will have been a beautiful success story.

Success by the world’s standards can often be an alluring distraction of cheap substitute for success at home.

And it’s also ok to have a side gig if you choose! There is no right or wrong way and every woman’s journey will look different. There is no judgment here.

Sell the makeup, promote the skincare, talk about what you love, sell houses on weekends, take that part time job if that’s what you want to do! But if you never do any of that because you are choosing to just be mom for this season, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone because the truth is this: the values of the world push against our calling as parents, which means we have to consider where we are placing our treasure and hope.

And if you aren’t a stay at home mom that’s OK too! Just don’t let all the good things distract you from the beauty that is right in front of you. Where are you storing up your treasure? What we invest in most gets the highest return.

Almost 14 years into this mom journey I’ve come to realize I spent far too many years not fully grasping the high calling and joy of motherhood. I write these words with a much deeper understanding of the power of the influence of mother love and time, wishing I had fully embraced it much much sooner. Let my experience redeem years of time and more accurate perspective in your own journey.

Rest easy stay at home mama.

I’m asking you to believe that where you are right now is the right place and that the woman that you are is actually enough. Because when we are freed to embrace the truth about ourselves without the pressure to be more, we are freed to become the very best, most beautiful version of her. 

So don’t go believing lies by letting the outside allure of anyone else’s journey convince you that you’re missing out on more or that you aren’t measuring up to a standard.

I know you are knee deep, in over your head right now, but take it from a fellow mama who is just beginning to get glimpses of the investment payoff on the other side of this mom gig – Who you are is actually more than enough and the harvest you are planting will actually reap the most eternal rewards of all. 

What you are doing with your life is necessary, and it is good.

On the worst day of your retirement years I’m willing to bet that you will never look back and regret a moment of time spent snuggled up with your littles in the middle of a work day or loving and raising a family well.

It is your gift to the eternal world.

Don’t quit. Don’t question. Rest in your role. Lean into this season. It’s gonna be oh so worth it.

Love, Rachel

 

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