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The Scandal of Grace {The Affair}

The One Thing That Is Killing Marriage

May 23, 2017 Rachel Rowell

Source: The One Thing That Is Killing Marriage

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Hi! Thanks for stopping by! If I could sit for an hour or two and have coffee with you, these words written down here are much of what I would say. Mostly you would hear me say, "Me too. You are not crazy and you are definitely not the only one." It is my hope that these frail and honest words of mine wrap around your soul like a big ole' comfy blanket, and that you leave this space feeling a little more hope and encouragement.. and just a little less alone.

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For whatever reason I’ve just felt a bit “off” and lonely today. Not the kind of loneliness where you are physically alone, but the deeper kind that makes you feel like you are alone in your life struggles while others are only looking in harshly from the outside rather than knowing and understanding the true you and intentions of your life. But rather than camping out there I stopped and asked myself, “WHY do I feel this way? Could there be another reason I feel down? Am I just tired or hormonal - and even so, are these thought processes TRUE? And what does Jesus say/think about you Rachel? Are your own struggles causing you to focus too much attention on yourself and not enough on others? What are you dwelling on that is either feeding or robbing from your spirit?” The problem with filtering life and our opinion of ourself and others on our thoughts and emotions is that both are chronic liars. Emotions are flat out deceptive and entire untrue thought processes are born out of very fickle emotions and next thing you know we are just believing a whole host of things that simply are not true. No special revelation here, just me learning what it actually means to “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Cor. 10:5

In life there are the summer seasons of sunshine when life is humming along nicely and things are bright. And then there are the winter seasons when things die and nothing seems full of life. For new life to grow there must be the death of all that is old. It’s in this winter season that you bundle up against the cold and cling tightly to what is secure because behind the curtain of all that is grab and cold are the buds of new life preparing themselves to bloom anew. Despite how it feels right now, the season of new birth is right around the corner. Winter never fails to surrender to spring.

To all my young ladies, just remember this one thing... 😉

1️⃣3️⃣ It is ok to question things...even your faith and all the stuff your dad and I tell you. Authority that can’t be questioned and challenged is weak and insecure. Questioning and digging for the answers will shape what you really believe much more than just adopting mom and dad’s faith and belief system. Let your faith and beliefs be all your own or not at all because anything less is just religion and we all know what religion does to a person. 🙄 1️⃣4️⃣ You only have just a few short years left with your dad and I. That fact is both bittersweet and sobering to us. Don’t wish it all by because your girlhood will be gone all too soon and I know you can’t see this now but just trust me when I say you will look back and wish it all back. Savor it. Embrace being able to just look across the hall from your bedroom and call your dad and I and know that we are right there. Don’t hang your hat on how amazing life will be in the future that you forget to notice how wonderful it is right now. You can never get these young days back and that is precisely what makes them so precious. Soak it all in dear girl. I can promise that you will look back one day and know that these days together were some of the very best days of your life. They sure are to me. I am absolutely thrilled that God chose you out of all the blonde haired, green eyed, fiery spirited girls in the whole wide world to be mine. I’ll always be here. Love, Mom

7️⃣ When you find a handful of true friends who will both cry with you when you’re at your worst AND celebrate you at your best...KEEP THEM. Love everyone, but invest your time and energy in those who love you exactly as you are and aren’t trying to change you or trying to BE you. 8️⃣ Your dad and I may not always agree with you but we will ALWAYS love and support you. Nothing you could ever do, and I do mean nothing, could change our love for you because you are ours. Our love will remain a solid and steady refuge in the times when the rest of life is not. 9️⃣ You need to know ahead of time that you are free to become a famous singer or a stay at home mama, and anything in between. There is no measure of success except the person you become on the inside and how you respond to the rest of the world. 1️⃣0️⃣ You are absolutely stunning on the outside but that my dear is perhaps the least interesting thing about you. Don’t you dare let the world extort your beauty by making you believe that is all you have to offer or what is even close to most wonderful about you. The person you are and will become on the inside is what will make you a woman of deep substance and honor. 1️⃣1️⃣ One day in the not so distant future, please for the love of all that is holy and good, marry for LOVE. Not convenience or lust and especially not for money and you will have a good life regardless of everything else. Find a man who watches you walk in the room and his eyes light up, who jumps to introduce you to all his friends and colleagues because he is so proud you are his woman - one walks beside you, not in front of you or behind you. This one decision will decide 90% of your happiness in life. But then again I think you’re seeing that in your dad and I. Love is just wonderful. Don’t ever chase it or run from it. Just let it be. ♥️ 1️⃣2️⃣ Value a good education. It will unlock doors for you that you could never unlock yourself. But know that education is not the end all be all but a combination of talent, work ethic, passion, and GRIT determines much more of your ability to succeed than how many degrees you have. Continued in next IG post...

Olivia, I’ve written you a birthday letter every year but this year I just want to give you 14 things for your 14th year. 1️⃣ Be YOU. There is no one on the planet like you. You are branded with uniqueness so don’t ever trade in your authentic self to try and be like anybody else (not even me) or to become a version of yourself that others might want you to be. And trust me, people will try and put you in boxes and molds all your life and tell who you should and shouldn’t be. Don’t you dare do it. 2️⃣ Allow yourself to discover and build your worth and identify on your Creator alone. You are the apple of His eye, He thinks you are beautiful and wonderful before you ever did a thing, and nothing you could ever do can remove you from His love. Very few women deeply believe this but when you know WHO you are and WHOSE you are, you’ll be unshaken by the shallow fickleness of human love. 3️⃣ I don’t have any dreams for you. With that I mean that I have laid down my hopes and dreams for you for just one: that you will know and love and serve the One from whom all other good things for your life will flow. That you would know Him and live out His dream for you, not mine. 4️⃣ I know you’re a good ole’ southern girl but you do NOT have to please everyone or be “pleasing”. Let your no be no and your yes be yes but don’t ever allow the need to be approved of by others sway you to do anything that isn’t genuinely in your heart to do. Listen for that still small voice and follow it, and the few trusted voices He will put in your life to mentor and guide you along the way. Let all the others voices fade away because they aren’t the ones that matter. 5️⃣ When given the chance to sit it out or dance, DANCE. You are so full of light and life and some people won’t know how to handle your fire...they aren’t your people. SHINE. DANCE. BE CRAZY. WORSHIP with your hands thrown up, SING LOUDLY anyways! Don’t you ever let the critics silence your song. 6️⃣ Go ahead and accept that fact that not everyone will like or approve of who you are. Be kind, love them, and let ‘em walk. Not everyone is meant to walk your journey with you... Continued in next IG post

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