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The Scandal of Grace {The Affair}

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The One Thing That Is Killing Marriage

May 23, 2017 Rachel Rowell

Source: The One Thing That Is Killing Marriage

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Hi! Thanks for stopping by! If I could sit for an hour or two and have coffee with you, these words written down here are much of what I would say. Mostly you would hear me say, "Me too. You are not crazy and you are definitely not the only one." It is my hope that these frail and honest words of mine wrap around your soul like a big ole' comfy blanket, and that you leave this space feeling a little more hope and encouragement.. and just a little less alone.

Instagram

So I thought we were just running to a morning chiropractor appt. and back home so I dressed in everything comfy and warm (with his XL vest on) and didn’t even bother to brush my hair or do anything to myself except brush my teeth and my husband neglected to notify me he was taking me out on a date day. 👀 So here I am out on a date in public looking like I belong to a West Virginia lumberjack crew chopping logs. I have laughed at myself all day. I’m so glad he loves me for me cause I definitely ain’t hittin’ on sexy today. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

Gratitude has become a greater thing in my heart lately. Suffering has its own way of stripping life bare and revealing what really matters in life - and it isn’t at all what we thought it was. I found myself lying in bed last night whispering “thank yous” to God for a warm bed, a roof over my head, the family of people He has placed around me, and all the seemingly “small things” in my life that are often easily overlooked but aren’t really small at all. When life’s circumstances force us to a change of pace, it can be a beautiful thing and I’m not fighting against it anymore. I find myself letting dishes sit in the sink and enjoying slow mornings chatting with my kids over rushing towards accomplishment and frantically getting stuff done. Much of that is because I am realizing that what matters most in life is not all I thought it was, but are the simple, everyday things that have always been right here in front of me. Often we get too busy chasing a beautiful life to notice that we already have one. God sometimes allows seasons of pain to come and clear out the clutter of life to reveal all the goodness that has been there all along. For that I am grateful. And in my hard season, it is deep with richness. “Gratitude takes what we have and turns it into more than enough.”

When is the last time your eyes filled up with tears because your heart was overwhelmed by your blessings? That happened to me today as I sat and recounted all that is good in my life. I couldn’t help but whisper, “Thank you Daddy” to my Heavenly Father. I have a sensitive spirit so I cry a lot, but it was the best reason to cry ever. If you want to feel overwhelmed with fullness of joy more often, put down your phone and start writing down everything good you notice throughout a 24 hour period and you’ll amaze yourself at how beautiful and rich your life actually is. Often we spend too much time running in high gear, distracted, grasping for a more blessed life simply because we are going blindly through life unaware that what we seek is already ours. We’ve just been too distracted by the hard parts to notice all that is beautiful and right.

Current season.✨

It was time to start writing again. Sharing my current journey because it's how I make any sense of the hard stuff. ♥️ Also, If you've ever struggled with being disappointed or even angry at God for not fixing the hard stuff in your life, I've been there. You're in good company. {Link to read in my bio.}

I don’t do resolutions but a major re-focus for me in 2020 is better balance in relationships. I realized I had allowed my life to become unbalanced in regards to the ratio of life-giving relationships to ones with those who aren’t so healthy or ones in which I am giving out of myself. In a multitude of counsel there is wisdom and life, and even givers need life-givers. We can’t pour out of an empty cup and I haven’t always done the best job at allowing my cup to stay filled up by rubbing shoulders and connecting deeply with enough healthy people. It’s a fact that if you want a great marriage, hang out with people who know how to have a great marriage. If you want a positive life, hang out with those with a positive mindset. If you want to succeed, hang out with encouragers who often succeed at their endeavors. If you want health, connect yourself to healthy people. If you want a better relationship with God, hang around people who continually walk in close relationship to Him. We become the sum total of the people we hang around and rarely rise above the level of our least healthy relationships. Start to finish, this entire day, so filled to the brim with love and truth and life-giving encouragement was one big beautiful reminder that though we don’t get to choose the family we are born into, we do get to choose the family we surround our life with. It matters. And blood is not thicker than spirit.

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