I have never been this hungry before
I have never been this thirsy, Lord.
Like a dessert on a dry day, with the heat beating down my back
So my soul, is after you
After you.
So I lift my hands to your rain, falling on me
Let it pour it down my dry throat, refreshing my soul
In a dry and weary land where there is no water
So my soul, Is after you
So my soul, Is after you Lord.
So my soul.
I’m hungry for you
So thirsty for you
I’ve searched all my life for you
You are everything to me.
How we need your rain Lord
How this land is thirsty and dry
Hear the cry of my heart Lord
I’ve searched all my life for you
You’re all I’m living for
And I’m nothing without you
Nothing without your presence
My heart is beating for you.
So my soul
Is after you.
- Jessie Rogers
I didn’t write the above words, but It is my absolute favorite song for my private time of worship alone with God. OH. MY. WORD there is not even a way to describe what these words mean to me. It’s just like the writer took my heart for God, poured it out on a table and wrote a song with words to describe it’s contents.
There is this fire inside me that I barely know how to describe. Never at any time in my life have I felt so incredibly desperate and in need of more of my God. Desperate to know His heart intimately, to stay in His presence, and to live under His anointing. Because I am realizing more and more, that without those things, I am nothing on my own.
There isn’t a pleasure, or thing in this world worth losing what I have found in Him. There’s nothing that could persuade me to give up this kind of freedom. This kind of passion. This kind of love. This kind of fulfillment and joy. I have found an anchor for my soul.
I’m finding that desperation will change you. It crushes all of who WE are out of the way so that we can reflect more of who HE is. Sometimes it takes us to places that make us uncomfortable. And causes us to face things in our lives and about ourselves that are downright confusing and painful.
Places and circumstances in which things in our lives that have been keeping our attention off of Him get weeded away. When I feel as those I’m being stripped of everything that I believed was rightfully mine, it is so that He can show me who I am IN HIM and reclothe me in HIS righteous. So that the robes of my life are not my own anymore, they belong to Him. Therefore HE gets all of the glory. Not me.
More than my desire to be accepted, qualified and honored by men, is my simple desire for my whole life to be a pleasing aroma to my Creator. Why? Well for starters He loves me so much that he called me and set me apart in my mother’s womb for such a time as this. He rescued me from so many things I can’t even name them all here, redeemed me, healed me from my wounds, finds me worthy enough to pour out His annointing on me, sings love songs over my whole life and calls me His bride…….and now, He just wants to use my life to return all the glory to Him.
He has totally and completely captured every fiber of my heart and soul. Everything I am. Everything I can do. Everything I will be. It’s all His to do with it as He pleases. I don’t care anymore. I’m done fighting things I do not understand, and are not mine to figure out.
I surrender.
To everything God.
Cause I’m just THAT desperate.
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This Christmas, we would like to introduce you to the newest member of our family. 
Today, Jackson, Olivia and I made our first ever gingerbread house. It fell apart twice and the icing kept running. But all in all I’d say it was a success. It turned out cute, the kids had fun eating the candy that fell on the floor and I had, well, a much needed lesson in patience and creativity.
Healing, truth, revelation, freedom, and transformation is all inside and around me.



